< eL Diluvio
Published September 6 2023
New York City

Script For What I'm Gonna Tell Mrs. S

(EXT. HIGH SCHOOL OF THE SUBURBAN BRICKED VARIETY)
Kids mill through the hallways, headed to their fifth class of the day but we can only see this through the windows.

(INT. OUTSIDE OF A CLASSROOM WITH A GONE FOR LUNCH SIGN)
We hear laughing inside the classroom but the frosted glass doesn't reveal the occupants.

"The screenwriting thing is way easier, you got me Mrs. S.

That way I don't have to waste my time with exposition. I don't have to describe the piles of leaves in front of the school that tell us it's fall. I can just write FALL.

It's all those details I was never good at. I'm good at distilling snippets of human behavior and emotion in a sort of cynical but endearing way. Like it's all just a little inside joke between me and the reader. Like I'm painting you and only you a 2 by 2 vignette of a universal human pattern.

But that's not what we're here for, to expound on the idiosyncracies of my writing style. This is more of a tribunal with you as judge, jury, and executioner. I just haven't been the same since that witchy named girl joined my homeroom. Homeroom is the worst place a crush could exist. A steady drip of appearances that are spaced out enough to start to forget them but random enough to land Pavlovian love punches to the heart's gut.

Did I tell you I secretly wish for a school shooter during homeroom? It's twisted, I know. But I'd finally have a chance to shower I'm her knight in vintage carpenter jeans. Quotes around vintage.

Yes, I'll get to the point. I stand by my decision to choose Kanye West as the subject of my Most Influential People essay. I understand he is problematic. But don't you realize that artists, true artists, are simply reflections of the collective human psyche? His successes in touching billions of people are impossible without his hurtful moral deficiencies. He is all of us. It says more about us than it says about him. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Well you can, but you're going to get some in your nose.